The Big Retreat
an amazing festival of wellbeing, live music and great food
Last weekend was one of those unexpected experiences that I think will stay with me for a long time.
At the very last moment, I was invited to teach at The Big Retreat Cambridgeshire, a new yoga and wellbeing festival. It was my first time teaching at a festival like this, and it felt like such an honour to be invited to be part of its very first year.
Of course, there was the excitement of teaching a big group of people, standing on a stage and wearing a microphone for the first time. It was new, slightly nerve-racking and incredibly exciting.
But something happened when I actually started teaching.
All the thoughts about being on a stage etc etc somehow became irrelevant.
My only thought was to be present for the people who were there.
And in that moment I realised how much the teachings of yoga themselves were supporting me. Rather than trying to control the experience, I could simply allow it to pass through me.
To listen, observe and respond to what was happening in the moment.
There is such a big difference between approaching something with the feeling of
“I have to do this” and allowing yourself to think, “I get to experience this.”
One feels like pressure, expectation and performance. The other feels like an invitation to be curious, open and fully present. That small shift changed everything for me. I didn’t have to make the moment perfect; I simply had to be there for it.
My intention became very simple: to create a safe and nurturing space in which each person could connect with themselves—with their body, their breath and the moment in front of them. A little space of presence, honesty, kindness and authenticity towards ourselves.
For that hour, with so many people moving and breathing together, there was a wonderful feeling of shared experience. And yet at the same time, every person was having their own individual conversation with themselves.
We practise together, but the deepest connection happens within.
I was practising exactly the same thing that I was asking everyone else to practise.
Presence.
Listening.
Trust.
Letting go.
It felt like another reminder that yoga is something we can carry into the moments when we feel excited, uncertain, challenged or a little outside our comfort zone.
But while I loved teaching, something equally important—perhaps even more important—happened during the rest of the weekend.
I was taught.
By lots of lovely humans.
Very quickly found myself being a student, experiencing so many different ways of exploring movement, awareness and wellbeing.
I went to a sound bath, I joined a beautiful Yin class with Janine Tandy, which ended with Portia Nelson's Autobiography in Five Short Chapters. (see below)
I also joined an arm balance workshop with Floss, challenging myself to turn things upside down and experience my body in a completely different way.
And then I took two aerial yoga classes Acro with Erica, which I absolutely loved.
I had forgotten just how much I enjoy flying!
There is something wonderfully playful about being suspended, supported and able to move in ways that feel impossible on the ground.
Sometimes it can simply be about curiosity, play and allowing ourselves to enjoy being in our bodies.
And then, last but definitely not least, I went to Fizz's Disco Yoga class—my first ever Yoga Disco.
What a joyful experience.
Fizz spoke about how much we all need joy in our lives.
Sometimes music, movement and connection with other people are enough to transform how we feel, to shift our mood and to enhance our positive energy.
She shared an image that has stayed with me: that we may sometimes feel like pieces of a broken mirror, but put lots of small pieces of mirror together and you can create a pretty amazing disco ball.✨✨✨✨
I loved that idea.
Because perhaps wellbeing isn't about becoming perfectly polished, fixed or complete.
Perhaps it is about accepting all the different parts of ourselves and discovering what can happen when we bring them into connection.
Looking back, that seemed to be what The Big Retreat, and particularly the wonderful Soul Space, was about all weekend.
Fun.
Music.
Movement.
Stillness.
Grounding.
Connection.
And an immense sense of gratitude.
I was surrounded by so many wonderful human beings taking the time to create safe spaces for other people.
Some through breath.
Some through movement.
Some through conversation.
Some through music, chanting or sound.
Others through touch, poetry, art, flowers or simply their presence.
So many different teachers and practices, yet underneath all of them I felt one common thread:
How can we help each other feel better?
And perhaps an even deeper question:
What does it actually mean to be well?
Not necessarily to constantly improve ourselves.
Not always to fix something.
Not to continually chase the idea that when we become stronger, calmer, more flexible, more successful or somehow different, then everything will finally be OK.
Perhaps wellbeing is also about becoming more present.
More aware.
More connected to our bodies.
More conscious of the patterns that shape our lives—and aware enough to recognise when we might choose differently.
More connected to one another.
And perhaps remembering that underneath all the things we think need changing, fixing or achieving, what we already have might actually be OK.
There can be something incredibly powerful in simply recognising:
This moment is already enough.
I arrived at the festival feeling honoured to have been invited to teach.
I came home feeling even more grateful for everything I had been taught.
My body pleasantly tired, my head buzzing with ideas and my heart very full.
Most of all, I came home feeling joyful.
Inspired by all the different teachers I had met, all approaching wellbeing in their own unique way but sharing the same desire: to help people reconnect with themselves and perhaps feel a little better than when they arrived.
Maybe that is what wellbeing can sometimes be.
Not another thing to achieve.
Just being fully here.
With our breath.
With our bodies.
With some music.
Some movement.
Some wonderful humans around us.
And, every now and then, a disco ball.✨✨✨✨
Portia Nelson's Autobiography in Five Short Chapters read a the end of Yin Yoga class by Janine Tandy.
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